Liar! Liar! Emotions - Part 3

I am exhausted by my emotions this week. 

No I am defeated…and not by my emotions really but by the lies generating the emotions.

My head is full of lies. 

Yes, I lie to myself –even when I don’t know it. 

These lies begin to work their evil and my unconscious response is an emotion. The emotion rises to the surface and I feel it. Often I do not know why I am feeling it until I check in and try to figure out the root cause. This search brings me face to face with a lie.

But where do the lies come from? How are they created?

Several professional authors and counselors that I have read and listened to say some of these lies start back when we were young and can be labeled as core beliefs. These “core beliefs” are facts that we believe about ourselves according to what others told us or taught us. I also think these lies/beliefs come from a combination of my sin nature, messages I receive from media/movies/television, comparing myself with my friends and family and of course, Satan working his evil in my mind, trying to knock me off the path toward Christ.

“Be self controlled and alert. You enemy, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith…” 1 Peter 5:8&9a

Sometimes it can be days before I realize I have begun to believe a lie about myself or my circumstances. 

Months even. 

Definitely years. 

I believed several lies about myself for about 30 years before a dedicated counseling friend brought me to the brink of reality and gently opened my emotional and spiritual eyes.

What are some of the lies you and I believe? Here is a sampling…

“There is really nothing good about me. I am dumb, ugly and worthless.”

“No one would really love me for who I am. I must earn love.”

“My kid’s behavior shows whether I am a good or bad mom.”

“My house should be picked up and clean most of the time.”

“It is VERY important for people to like me.”

“I need to look like the women in the magazines and on TV.”

“It is a sign of weakness to ask for help.”

“If I am not the best at something, it is not worth even trying.”

“My kids need to be involved in lots of activities or they will miss out and not be well adjusted.”

“I cannot be overweight because people will think less of me.”

“My husband won’t love me if I can’t keep the house and kids under control.”

“If I am not attractive and taking care of myself, my husband will let his eyes look elsewhere.”

“God doesn’t really care about the little details of my life.”

“I am a failure.”

“Nobody really likes me.”

Several heavy emotions are tied to each one of these lies. Can you even imagine what condition you would be in if you believed all these lies and carried all those emotions?

Many of us do it all the time. 

This is what I discovered this week when I found myself exhausted emotionally. I had begun to believe some awful lies about myself again. Those old companions from the past had crept back into my mind.

We are not meant to bear these emotionally charged burdens. 

In the same passage as above, Peter says, “Humble yourselves, therefore under God’s mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6&7)

What I have found helpful when faced with my own lies is to search for the counter truth in scripture that will cause those lies to dissolve and disappear. 

John 8:31&32 says, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

I need freedom from the lies. We all need freedom. True freedom is only found through Christ Jesus.

Search scripture for the truth! The truth will set you free!

What is the truth about how, when or even “if” God loves me?

What is the truth about what God has called me to do as a wife/mother?

What is the truth about my self worth and usefulness to society?

What is the truth about my role in my marriage?

All these answers can be found in the Bible. We need to be reading it enough to find those truths. Then when we come face to face with the lies (and the Liar) we can counter attack with Truth and be set Free!

This is good work and will result in great forward motion toward becoming a healthier person! You are worth it!  FREEDOM is worth it!

SO WHAT!?

You have probably guessed what today’s homework entails.

1. Check in with yourself and listen carefully for the lies lurking behind the emotions are you are feeling. Identify as many lies as possible.

For example:

You are saying to yourself, “I just can’t keep up with all of this housework! I feel so frustrated and overwhelmed!”

After some thought…Lie identified: “I am not a good mom/wife unless my house is clean all of the time for my family.” This lie has several facets. Obviously it is good to clean your house and do your best to keep things picked up and manageable, but to become overly upset and angry about the situation that you are depressed, defeated and/or lashing out at children or husband is a warning sign that keeping a clean house has become more than just a chore. It has become a belief. This lie could also be tied to “I am worthless.” “I can’t do anything right.” Pick the whole situation apart until you get to ALL of the ugly lies then counter them with truth.

2. Search the scriptures to find the truths to counter the lies. Meditate on those scriptural truths. In the past I had made a list of my lies and the counter truths. I have found that over the years, the lies have changed and so the counter truths need to also. 

Example continued:Truth from scripture

You say: I am not worthless.

The Bible says: “I am God’s workmanship…” Ephesians 2:10. “God so loved the world, (me) that he gave his only Son…” John 3:16.

You say: I can do things right.

The Bible says: “I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me...” Philippians 1:6. When I do things wrong I can learn and grow and change for the better.

Keep working on it! If you are like me, some of these lies have been with you for a LONG time and may take some time to excavate your heart. Your freedom is at stake. Keep up the good work!

I pray that God gives you some quiet moments this week to reflect and work through these lies.

There are so many books and authors that I could point you to about lies. I hesitate to do so because I think the first place we need to start is with THE BOOK, the Holy Bible. Get your hands on His inspired Holy Word today. If you need help processing through some of those lies or situations, contact me! I would love to hear your story. We can learn together.

You can always check out what I have been reading by going to the blog website and browsing my bookshelf on the right hand side. Very eclectic! Enjoy!