Make This Your Most Enjoyable Christmas Season Part 2

I am sure you are all feeling calm and serene after reading last week’s article and now you are ready to take on another small challenge to make this your best Christmas. 

Right? 

I received some wonderful feedback from several of you about the great things you are doing to take control of your calendar and mend some sticky relationships all to beat the “crazies” out of ruining your holiday. 

Great work! You will be better for it!

One of the most difficult plates we spin during the holidays is our complicated relationship with food and drink. I find my appetite in a constant tug-o-war not unlike the imaginary angel on one shoulder and devil on the other each trying to convince me to do their bidding. 

When it comes to appetites I have found in my studies that many foods can act like drugs on our system causing strong addictive desires. This is obvious when it comes to sugar and without great resolve sugar usually wins the day.  The more sugar we eat the more sugar we want. It takes about 4-7 days (a mere week) to break that chain and begin to gain the upper hand against the cravings. Here are a couple tricks that will help.

We have all heard it before. Drink eight, 8 ounce glasses of water daily. This advice is up for debate among health professionals, exercise scientists and even YouTube phenomena. 

According to Adam Conover of “Adam Ruins Everything” we only need to drink when we are thirsty. This may be an oversimplification.  Thirst is only one of the many ways our bodies tell us we need water. Everyone is a bio-individual and our fluid needs differ from each other and from day to day. 

Most of us have trouble trying to gulp down the daily recommendation, but we have no trouble drinking 2-3 cups of coffee, an afternoon tea, a beer after work or a glass a wine or bottle of soda with dinner. All of those beverages are diuretics that remove water from the body. 

Remember what you learned in biology class? 

Depending on your age the body is made of 60-80% water. The cells cannot function without adequate water.  Water improves oxygen delivery, transports nutrients, cushions joints and organs, removes toxins, regulates body temperature, and empowers the body’s natural healing process.

Ok. Overall it looks like water is pretty essential to a vibrant life. We are all about peace and serenity this month so here is a simple math formula and challenge to help figure out this water thing. 

Take your body weight in pounds. Divide by two. The number you get is the number in ounces (generally) that you should strive to drink each day. So for example a 150 pound person would divide by two and find they should try to drink 75 ounces of water each day. 

This is very general. If you are drinking many diuretics, are currently pregnant, work out a lot or live in a very hot climate you may need to drink more water to compensate for your situation. I fill up 2 large water bottles every morning that measure what I generally need for the day. This helps me keep track. It took my body a week or so to adjust to the proper amount. Some days I drink it all and want more and other days I just can’t get it all in. That’s fine. 

Each day’s requirements are not exact. Learn to listen to your body. 

The holiday trick behind this is that being properly hydrated will stave off many cravings and keep you in optimal health throughout the season!! 

So simple AND cheap!

So if WATER is the first trick FAT is the second. What!? Yup.

Did you know that Dr. Ancel Keys' “eat low-fat for heart health” theory has been debunked and we all really need to be eating MORE FAT?

Wait! Don’t switch tabs yet! The caveat is in eating the healthy fats like olive oil, avocado, nuts and seeds, butter, other animal fats and even coconut oil. Coconut oil was recently in the limelight as part of another media fiasco with the AHA but that was also debunked. Coconut oil has many health benefits. 

Healthy fats are the building blocks for cell membranes and hormone production. They protect the organs, help make and regulate energy, help properly use proteins, cause food to taste good and most importantly to this article increase satiety. That means when we eat enough of the right kinds of fats we feel full and satisfied and don’t want to go back for seconds or thirds or extra dessert! BONUS! We get to eat butter AND feel great! 

Don’t be afraid to fry up some bacon and eggs. Slather it on your toast or sauté your favorite veggies to perfection. Fat is a macro-nutrient that we must consume for our bodies to work properly. Now, don’t go overboard! Strive for fat to be about 30% of your daily calories. That’s about 2-3 tablespoons of butter at a meal depending on your calorie count. 

In the end fat does not make us fat. Sugar makes us fat. It’s in the science.

Ahhhhh… the season is getting better and better isn’t it? 

We are already calm and not overbooked. Now we can be hydrated and eating healthy fats feeling full and satisfied. 

Oh! And you will sleep so well because your body is happy to have some of what it needs to rest and repair at night. It will be busy while you are peacefully snoozing in your warm cozy bed. 

See you next week with the third and final part of the triad; the soul. 

Sweet dreams my friend.

Sue Huber has been busy making cookies and creating secret gift codes for her family of six. Beside the kitchen you can mostly likely find her shoveling snow, hauling wood or sitting in front of the wood stove writing, shopping or studying online to become a Nutritional Therapy Consultant where mind, body and soul give the most complete picture of health. 

Make This Your Most Enjoyable Christmas Season Yet! Part 1

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the Christmas season comes each year. I mean, we know it’s coming like clockwork. 

It’s on every calendar, but up here in the ADKs we love our autumn season. Most of the tourists have left (except for weekends- maybe). Our streets are quieter. The trails are a little more user friendly. The stores and shops are less frantic and crowded. Even our homes and families are back into the routine with school and work. We effortlessly float through the season enjoying the beauty and deepening sunshine – until Thanksgiving. 

Thanksgiving is our first major holiday with a significant school break. Then all of a sudden it’s over and we are staring Christmas in the face! Eyeball to eyeball with shopping, decorating, cooking, cleaning, relatives, travel, parties, wrapping, singing, concerts, and the list continues ad nauseum.

Big sigh… ugh… I already feel overwhelmed!

Years ago I received some great counsel about preparing for the holidays and all of the crazy that goes on. When it comes right down to it – “crazy” is not really the word you want to associate with Christmas, right? 

I would love for my Christmas season to be serene, beautiful, enjoyable, calm, and savored.

I learned the hard way that these mellow feelings about the season do not come by accident. They only come if I am purposeful in making them come.  I needed to prepare emotionally, physically and spiritually for the Christmas season and all that it entails. I needed to control it and not let the chaos control me. 

In the next weeks leading up to Christmas I am going to address three areas for positive change, (one for each part of the mind, body and soul triad) to encourage you in your endeavors to take the holiday by the horns (or the tree by the tinsel or the wrapping by the ribbons – you get my drift…) and make it the most enjoyable, healthy and meaningful Christmas season ever!

If you are like me, just the borage of preparatory thoughts and lists that come with Christmas can freeze me in an overwhelmed and panicked state. I expend much more emotional energy fretting over how everything will get done than actually doing it. 

So I recommend that on a day when you have time, sit down with your calendar and a blank piece of paper. First, make a list of all of the events you are expected to attend. 

Now stop. Do you really NEED to attend ALL of these events? I know you want to but if you start feeling the crazies comin’ on, it’s time for a break. Circle the events most important to you. Focus on those events. If you feel up to it, attend the others, but it’s no sweat if you decide to stay home and read a book or wrap presents. The best gift you can give yourself is time and space to breathe. Slow down and enjoy the moment you are in right now.

Now look at your list and put squares around the events that seem to cause you the most stress. If having your MIL (mother-in-law) over to your house causes you to break out in a nervous sweat looking for a place to hide, I highly recommend you start preparing mentally now for that visit. 

Or maybe you feel expected to make a large main dish, 4 veggies, 3 starches, 5 different Christmas cookies, have a spotless house, well trained dog and be happy about it all when your guests arrive. If you can’t change the circumstances then ask yourself what you are thinking about this stress item that is causing these adverse feelings. 

Where are these negative thoughts or overly high expectations coming from? 

How are they holding power over you and controlling you into the “crazies”? 

What is the root cause and what can you do about it prior to the event?

These are really hard questions to ask requiring you to do some difficult emotional work, but let me tell you it is sooooo worth it! Don’t shy away. Give it a try. You will thank yourself in the end and you are not alone. 

I just had to do this myself! My “stress person” is not coming to visit but has recently visited some of my past turf and I was surprised at my emotional reaction to the news. It was ugly. I needed to do some investigative work as to what was still going on in my heart concerning this person. The hard work paid off to peace on my end whether this person shows up in my future or not.

I don’t want my Christmas to be hijacked by my habit of over-committing to social events. I also don’t want my thoughts about people in my life or my habit of setting sky high expectations to cause negative feelings and actions ruining a beautiful holiday. I hope you feel the same. I really am preparing myself to be serene, joyful and calm this season – enjoying every minute. I hope you are now, too.

Watch for follow up articles in the next posts where we cover the body and soul portions of the triad. 

Take Back Your Thoughts

“I am so stupid!” 

“We just can’t catch a break.”

“I always get the raw end of the deal!”

“Nobody likes me.”

Have you ever caught yourself thinking these kinds of thoughts? Maybe they have actually slipped from your lips in a moment of exasperation.

Do you wonder why you feel the way you do emotionally on any given day? Or maybe you wonder what life is going to throw at you next and whether you can handle it?

Me too... but not anymore. 

As you now know I am training to become a Nutritional Therapy Consultant. I hope to pair this knowledge with the training I already have on life coaching. In my continual effort to stay current on coaching and therapy methods I have recently come across a model that made so much sense to me. My thought process clicked into place and I could see clearly how it all played out. This has made a huge difference in helping me dissect my thinking and change it for the better.

The basic model is set up like this.

Let me walk you through it.

Our life circumstances are the things that happens to us. For example, a car accident, sick kids, weather, company layoffs, or a spouse leaving us. We cannot create our circumstances.

Circumstances are different than life course decisions; mindful decisions to leave a job, have a child, get married or move to a new place. We have complete control over life decisions but not the circumstances that happen to us.

We do, however, need to process these circumstances. This is where the next step comes in: Thoughts.

We have thoughts about our circumstances. These thoughts are the statements in your head that sometimes slip out of our mouths. They can be positive or negative; true or false. 

These thoughts then cause feelings within us.

Feelings (different than thoughts) are not positive or negative; true or false. They are a light on the dashboard  of our lives telling us what is going on in our minds (thoughts).  You can read more about the emotional dashboard in this previous blog. Our feelings are Clue #2.

Once we are feeling something we act on those feelings and our behavior exhibits outwardly what is going on inwardly. Our actions are Clue #1. The clue numbers are reversed and you will see why in a moment.

All of these steps lead us to a result where we find ourselves saying derogatory statements under our breath and acting out in ways that are detrimental to ourselves and possibly those around us.

Maybe a recent argument with a spouse or child left you distant and not talking.  A bad day at work led you to the local hang out after work drowning your sorrows.  A failed attempt to lose weight found you moping on the couch with a bowl of ice cream mindlessly bingeing on Netflix. 

These are examples of actions and their results.

Think of a situation in your life where you have acted out because of how you felt. Take a look at your result and start walking the process backwards.

What actions led to the result?

When you think about the action what feelings surface?

When you center on those feelings what thoughts start popping up in your head about yourself and your circumstances.

STOP there! Can you pinpoint your thought? What was the specific thought that started this whole domino effect? That thought came as a result of some circumstance in your life – but you can’t change your circumstances (past or present). You CAN CHANGE your thoughts about them.  These thoughts caused the feelings that led to the action?

Once you can pinpoint the specific thought, evaluate it. 

Is it a keeper? Probably not. Delete it! Toss it! Throw it out. It’s garbage pickup day for the mind. Put it to the curb!

It is not serving you.  It’s enslaving you!

Change the thought to a truer, healthier thought. Maybe the thought was true but had a negative spin on it. Change it to have a positive spin.

Here are some examples.

THOUGHT: “I am a bad mom.”

HEALTHY THOUGHT: “I blew up at my son, but I know I am not a bad mom. I will revisit that conversation and try to explain myself more calmly and work with him to create a better solution.”

THOUGHT: “I hate my job.”

HEALTHY THOUGHT: “I had a bad day. I was already tired. Then I spilled my coffee in the car. I just had a bad start. I really like my job. Maybe I could try to go to bed earlier to feel more rested and not need so much coffee! That would be genius!”

THOUGHT: “I am fat and will always be fat.”

HEALTHY THOUGHT: “I could stand to lose a few pounds. I don’t know if this new diet is right for me. I can’t stand how hungry I am all the time. I just want some good tasting food and to feel full. I think I’ll do some more research about a balanced way to do this with real food."

Now the dominoes can fall and have a better result for you mentally and physically.

These negative unhealthy thoughts wreak havoc on your emotional, physical, spiritual and relational health. You have the power to change them!

Now you have the opportunity to take back your mind, feelings and actions which will turn into much better results! 

Print the model chart above and hang it somewhere to remind you of this process. You do not need to be a slave in bondage to your thoughts and feelings. Start TODAY by confronting your own feelings and work backwards to adjust those thoughts!

I am so excited for you to find the awesome change this can make in your daily lives. Just knowing you have a choice to control these aspects of your life is so freeing!

If you have an example of how this process helped you, please share in the comments. We would all love to hear from you and be encouraged!

From one healthier wife to a host of other healthier friends, have a wonderful, mindful day!

Blog Revival!

I know…I know… why are you seeing this blog in your email??? Wow. Blast from the past –right?

So I haven’t posted in almost  4 years.

A lot has happened. I really didn’t fall off the face of the earth.

I have grown and changed a million times since then.  In short this is what the last four years have held:

A journey to the Adirondack Mountains that led to

o   Husband’s job change

o   New ministry – bi-vocational jobs

o   Family move

o   My job change

o   Kid’s new schools

o   Several trips to TX and Mexico to build and orphanage

o   First born’s HS graduation and college start

o   2 teenage drivers

o   2 junior high daughters

o   Husband’s trip to archaeology dig in Israel

o   Paradigm shifts on several levels

o   Me going back to school – Wait! What?

Toto we are not in Kansas anymore!!!

Nope. We are in the woods of the mountains and on different paths than we ever thought possible. We thought leaving everything in the city to come to the mountains was the grand adventure but God keeps opening new doors and asking us to walk through…so we are. And we are excited and honored to do so.

This blog was generally focused on the lessons I was learning as I was healing my marriage and in some aspects it may continue serving that purpose from time to time. However I would like to branch out from the marital health realm and include emotional, nutritional, physical and spiritual wellness to this blog.  All of these fall under the umbrella of “a healthy wife” – or husband, child, family member, friend, etc. At some point I may need to change the name of the blog but for now it’s all good.

One step at a time.

I want to catch you up to speed.
I am launching out on an adventure of my own and have enrolled in an online nutritional therapy program to become certified to use nutrition as a way to achieve level of wellness. This is ground breaking territory and I am super excited to use my 10 plus years of personal research and experimentation to help others find a better quality of life – whether physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Will you join me on my journey? Some of you are new to my blog and can sign up to receive them in your inbox. Thank you if you do!

Maybe you don’t want the wellness part but want to keep up with me. That’s cool too. Thank you.  I look forward to hearing from you.

The rest of you are well worn traveling companions. We’ve been on this road a while. I hope you stay the course. There are greater things up ahead around the bend. Watch for them.

Posts may come at random but there will be a Wellness Wednesday post where I will share with you some new tidbits of what I am learning so you can be in the know and make choices that better your life too! Small steps can lead to a whole new life.

Watch for the next post.

Until then take care of yourself, be thankful and hug your family. (or kiss your husband -Ha!)