We are in a series on Emotions. If you missed Part 1 on
Checking in - you can read it here.
As we continue in the series, I want to introduce you to
something called the emotional dashboard.
Picture the dashboard of your car.
There are several gauges,
dials, lights, and so on. When your car is running these gages and dials light
up and whirr to life. They tell you several things about what is going on with
your car – positive or negative. They indicate when your gas tank is full, your
engine is hot, your turn signal is on and when your oil is low. There are also
special lights and signals that come on indicating a crisis. I cringe when the
check engine light comes on. This typically means huge bills at the mechanic or
impending vehicular death.
Our emotional dashboard functions much like a car's
dashboard. There are gauges measuring joy and sorrow, stress and peace. There
are dials that rise and fall with anger. There are warning lights that come on
with fear and distrust. There are mileage meters counting how many times we
have felt certain emotions before and memory chips recalling how we handled
them in the past.
By God’s grace we even have a check engine light that comes
on and flashes in urgency.
“Check your heart!”
–it flashes. “There is impending doom on the horizon. Get to a mechanic IMMEDIATELY!”
As a Christ follower I have found that often other groups of
Christ followers are not sure what to do with emotions in their lives. Emotions
often get a bad rap. We are instructed to not trust them or pay any attention
to them. Sometimes the hidden message is that certain emotions are somehow evil
or sinful and we should not be feeling them.
There has been a lot of guilt and self condemnation in my
life over certain emotions I found welling up in my heart. I was never taught
how to appropriately feel my emotions and process through them in a healthy way
so I did what I knew how to do – I didn’t show them at all. I stuffed them down
inside. The problem with stuffing is that a person can only hold so much
emotion. Imagine a teddy bear being stuffed with cottony white stuffing. That
little bear can only hold so much. If he continues to have stuffing shoved down
inside of him, what do you think will happen? His seams pull, he unravels,
leaks stuffing, and is ruined.
Have you ever met someone that no matter what the
conversation piece they had something negative or biting to say about it? On
the contrary have you ever met someone who no matter the conversation piece
they had something positive to say and seemed to be brimming over with joy and enthusiasm?
It is the same thing. They are both overflowing with emotion – just one is
expressing and acting out on an emotion we typically view as negative and one
is acting out on a positive emotion.
I have found in my studies that the Bible is full of
emotions and people expressing emotions. Emotions themselves are neither good
nor bad. They are neutral. They are our feelings about someone or something.
The focus should not be on the emotion itself, but on what we do with those
emotions. It is in the acting out and the reacting to the emotions that can get
us into trouble. We will have emotions and feelings. We are human. What we do
with them is key.
This is where our emotional dashboard comes in.
If we are paying attention to our dashboard we will not be
surprised by any emotions creeping up on us. It would not make sense for me to
wake up one morning in a panic attach over work if I had been watching my
stress meter on my dashboard and been taking appropriate pre-cautions to
release the pressure of that stress in my life.
Same with anger. I should not be having angry outbursts at
my children and everyone around me if I have been keeping tabs on my anger
gauge on my dashboard and talking to a friend over coffee about the
frustrations in my life.
Sometimes we do crash at the expense of someone else’s
behavior. THIS- our dashboard cannot warn us about. In these instances we do
our best to watch the dashboard for high emotion levels and indicators of any
new emotions we need to keep tabs on. We may need to visit a “mechanic” to help
us understand these new flashing lights. We may need to spend some extra time
with the “Ultimate Mechanic” allowing Him to show us new release valves and
broken parts that need to be fixed.
Being aware of the emotions is the first step toward health.
Emotions are a part of life. We will have and carry the gamut of them. You have
found this out if you have started checking in with yourselves.
Emotions are okay. It is what you do with them that makes
the difference. You can pen them up and let the pen explode when it is too
full. You can diffuse them by sharing them with a friend or spouse. You can
process and work through them by identifying why you are feeling them in the
first place, (See Checking in).
Emotions were evil to me in the past. A lie that told me I
was not spiritual enough to handle my life.
Now I am thankful for my
emotions because they tell me so much about myself and what is going on in my
life. I look at my dashboard often and determine what action steps I need to
take to keep the gauges in normal range. Sometimes this means a difficult
conversation with Husband or a friend. Sometimes this means a walk around the
neighborhood to unwind and cool my jets. Sometimes this means scheduling an
appointment with my counselor to have him help me work through what I am
missing in the big picture. All great responses
if they move me forward toward health.
SO WHAT?? Application time. Take a few minutes to journal
through these questions. These action steps could make your day! Grab your
journal, laptop, iPad or whatever you want to write on.
1. Write down the top 3 emotions you are you feeling most
strongly right now? Remember these can be positive feelings or negative
feelings. Identify reasons for each of these emotions? If you are having
trouble, pray for the Lord to help you see your circumstances clearly so you
can identify. Now write.
2. Each time you feel some strong emotions, picture your
dashboard. The dashboard moves you toward action. Write down what action steps
you can take TODAY to deal with your top 3.
3. Journal about how taking these action steps made you
feel. Did you feel better? Did you feel worse? Were you able to bless someone
with your positive emotional outpouring (sending a card, buying a gift,
verbally lifting them up)? Were you able to work through some heavier emotions
today –maybe grief, sorrow, anger, betrayal –by journaling, taking a walk,
sharing or praying with a friend?
4. Send some feedback for all of us to benefit from. Leave a
reply at the end of the blog. I would love to hear about your dashboard
experiences. We can all learn from each
other! Take action to make your day better one step at a time.
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